(via valeriechua (via mydeadpony (via mrfrivolous (via luclatulippe (via visualarmory)))))
(found valeriechua via tumblr radar)
The song “Jolene” but the singer never stops describing Jolene, going into more and more details and getting more and more disturbing until you’re not sure what Jolene is except that you’re afraid of her.
♪ your teeth are sharp / your mouth agape
your claws rend flesh / there’s no escape
from the judgement of the Eldritch One, Jolene ♪
He screams about you in his sleep
and when he wakes, does naught but weep
in terror, of the one they call Jolene
Today’s spam wisdom.
tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like
“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”
and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent
“I literally made three- THREE- 18th century corsets last week. You can wait until one of them gets back, or you can go sometime post-1920s, because if I have to sew one more god damn channel I will literally lose my mind.”
“Upper middle class?!?!? You told me upper class! FUCK YEAH THERE’S A DIFFERENCE!!!”
“How about kimoNO.”
“Look me in the eyes. I do not care what you want. This is the 1500s. You absolutely cannot wear trousers.”
“Another court gown?? Here’s a novel idea: go as a peasant for once in your life. Why do you do this to me? You’re fucking sadists that’s why.”
“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be up all night hand painting silk.”
“THE POLICY IS ONE MONTH’S ADVANCE NOTICE ON PRE-1900s WOMEN’S FASHION FOR A REASON, DEBRA.”
@unboundpage would have to star in this one, methinks.
